DeLaWho? DeLaWhat? DeLaWhere?

This story goes right next to So Confused.

This Monday and Tuesday, I was down at the beach visiting one of my best friends, Billy T. With my new car, I have been making a lot more trips to the beach. On Monday, we went fishing in the ocean with his Grandfather....to no avail. On Tuesday, we decided to go to the beach. Billy, who has picked up skimboarding over the past few summers, heard from a fellow skimboarder that Gordon's Pond State Park (an part of Cape Henlopen State Park) had pretty good waves for skimming.

So, we decided to mix up the routine and made the trip to Gordon's Pond. As we pulled up into the parking lot, we noticed that it was relatively deserted, especially considering its location in relation to Rehobeth. We got our stuff out of the car and began to walk onto the beach. The beach was relatively quiet with a couple of wholesome families and their kids doing the whole beach thing. Since Billy has to skim board outside of the flags set down by the lifeguards, we headed left and set our stuff down in an open spot before the jetty at the end of the beach. I was still recovering from the meal we had at his Grandparents, so I lied down to let the food settle. As Billy began to put his sunscreen on, he asked me to take a look around us and see if I noticed anything strange. After some more subtle hints, I noticed that we were surrounded by couples or threesomes of middle-aged women...many with short haircuts. As we tried to put the pieces of the puzzle together, I told Billy that I noticed a couple of guys with speedos on the other side of the jetty. As it turns out, we were located in the middle of the lesbian section of the beach (no wonder we got so many strange looks). We were both shell shocked, confused, bewildered, and (insert applicable adjective here). We seemed to have wandered onto a gay beach.

So, we grabbed our skimboards and started to skim. Not trusting our observations, we wanted to verify our findings about the beach. Billy saw some skimboarders at the other side of the beach (not the gay side..but the family side), so we decided to go ask them about the dominant social preferences of the beach. When we went up to the kids and said "whats up?"(the kids turned out to be like 10 or 11...and probably didnt know what was going on), they gave an indeterminable response and sort of scurried away. So we went back down to our side of the beach and as we did, we witnessed shameless, open-air embracing between two middle aged and unattractive women who looked like they could beat both of us up (Billy is a defensemen for the McDaniel Lacrosse Team). As we continued our walk down the beach, I saw one person with their back to us in the ocean. Unless this woman was wearing a sports bra-like bathing suit, I would have thought that she was a man because of her short, manly haircut and imposing physique. We dubbed her a "chude" not a chick or a dude, but a "chude"....a lot like the SNL skit about the gender bending PAT.

Billy took a couple more skims and we agreed that it was time to get going. We had only been there for an hour and we packed our stuff up and left. However, our question had still not been answered...Was it a gay beach? So as we were leaving, we asked the toll collector, who went to our high school and graduated 1 or 2 years after us, about the beach. Billy asked "What's this beach all about?", but we didnt get the desired response...so I asked, "Not as a Delaware State Park Employee, but as a human being who makes observations about people, what is this beach about?"...Billy added "yeah...what about the people?" He responded "Well you got your surfers, your families, and then it's the gay beach." Still bewildered and confused, we decided it was time to jet. There was still enough time in the day to go to another beach, but we decided to cut our losses and headed back to his grandparents.


To read more about Gordon's Pond: Check Surfline out