DeLaWho? DeLaWhat? DeLaWhere?

The experiences of Me, Myself, and I(van), a young Delawarean, currently working in Cincinnati, Ohio



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2.05.2004

 

THE OH SO PERSONAL AD ANALYSIS

I will be analyzing the personal ad which I chose in the format of the king of blog, all hail Scott Towler.

Lets us begin. First and for most, let us (by us, I truly mean me...i am just trying to make myself feel more important than I actually am) introduce flowerface8, a 22 year old with the height of an Amazon woman. This 6', 180 pound woman hails from what many consider a "cookie cutter" suburb called Bear. Bear is located around Newark,DE (the home of the Fightin' Blue Hens of the University of Delaware).

Last Book She Read: MY date with Satan, a collection of short stories about our own wayward youth culture....fucking hilarious.. and let's see. How to lose friends and alienate people. Currently reading a book called Playing the bones about a 20-something female caucasion who falls in love with a black blues singer named Black Jesus....pretty good so far.

I don't know where to start, but at least she isnt reading those dime a dozen, cheesy romance books you can find at Krogers or other convenience stores. The first thing you notice is that she does not conform and try to sweep a wide range of people. She is letting everybody know right off the bat what interests she has. I respect that.

MOST HUMBLING MOMENT: When I peed my pants on the bus, on the way home from summer camp in 2nd grade, and to make matters worse I was sitting next to the hot counselor I had crushed on during the entire week. Yup, he was soaked. Just for my own defense, I was being tickled, I don't usually just pee on people.

It's like taking your 86 year old grandpa to a strip club. A similar story. By the way, Girls dont pee, they use the bathroom.

FAVORITE ON-SCREEN SEX SCENE: I liked that movie Secretary. the whole movie was so intense....

Here's a link to the movie Secretary. Seems to be right down Scott's alley. Again, she doesnt hold back and narrows her target audience to those people who enjoy S&M or maybe just watching S&M. Maybe she wants to give Janet Jackson a (nipple) ring as JJ's SuperBowl performance was highlighted by the magically disappearing S&M costume.

CELEBRITY I RESEMBLE MOST: People ALWAYS tell me I look like Drew Barrymore, and I hear Kate Hudson sometimes, but I think if I really looked like either one of them I probably wouldn't be sitting here filling out a profile at 2 in the morning.....

TRUE, TRUE...a realist and a bit of self-depricating humor. She is not your garden variety girl. I do find the last part of the sentance to be interesting because of her choice of words. NOTE: I had written a good deal more here, however, upon re-reading her comment, I noticed that i was wrong.

BEST OR WORST LIE I'VE EVER TOLD: I am not trying to be a dick, but...

Straight shooter, I guess. I dont like the fact that the reader has to determine if the lie was the worst or the best lie this person has ever told. Too much thinking involved.

IF I COULD BE ANYWHERE AT THE MOMENT: I suppose I'd be watching the sun go down, dipping my feet in to the water somewhere with a cold beer in hand, sitting next to somebody who I need to share no words with. Erykah Bado softly cooing in the back ground...hmmmm...

Key words of this entry are: cold beer AKA cheap date and Erykah Bado, which is misspelled (or is that mispelled). Points for Erykah badU. Her response reads and flows in it's own choppy and unique way. Stick to those bullet points.

SONG OR ALBUM THAT PUTS ME IN THE MOOD: Depends on What mood we're looking for....
Sexin'-D'angelo or AL Green, Sade
Chiilin'-Mazzy Star, RadioHead, Floetry
Rockin'-Zepplin, The Doors, Hendrix, White Stipes
Dancin'- Missy, TuPac, The Neptunes....
Crusin'-Billy Joel, The Doobie Brothers, Fleetwood Mac, Elton John, Hall & Oates

AL GREEN. The ultimate soulman. A life lesson that I learned from my father was the proper use of Green's masterpiece entitled "Let's Stay Together". Truly, an amazing song. She really demonstrates a love and interest in music and the arts. She's got music for every situation.

FILL IN THE BLANKS: a man who reads is sexy;
a man who writes is sexier.

"I'm hard to read like grafitti" Common. Her response is unique and insightful as opposed to another persons ad which stated Orlando Bloom is sexy and Johnny Depp is sexier. She is looking for a creative and intelligent man who will share her love of knowledge. Again, she is narrowing her target to a specific audience.

IN MY BEDROOM, YOU WILL FIND: A Pile of Clothes, my notebook and pencil complete with pencile shavings everywhere, a pile of textbooks, Pixle Kitty probably curled up on some important piece of my writing, my bed, my Miss Congenialty Sash (oh yes, I am a complete nerd), a picture of my Mom, and a picture of my God Daughter, incense, my glass piece, a tyedye beanbag chair, and Justin Timberlake bobblehead (sorry it makes me laugh) Oh and probably my roommate, he is the nosiest person I know and feels the need to be in my room constantly!

Glass Piece? Hmmmm, whats a glass piece? That could be a number of things. She is not holding back and is letting "YOU" know what she is like.

WHY YOU SHOULD GET TO KNOW ME:I am entertaining in small doses...
I can be hilarious if you catch me in the right mood...
I am up for anything...
I don't get mad, it's not worth my time...
I usually give good advice...
I am passionate in every endeavor...
I Love my mom....
My smile reaches from ear to ear...

Even though, you know she is probably kidding about being entertaining in small doses, and being hilarious if you catch her in the right mood. Those types of statements always leave me questioning the statement and having my doubts about that person's personality. Maybe its just me.

MORE ABOUT WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR: I want someone who likes to laugh...a lot.
Someone who understands my quirks..
Someone who has their own quirks...
Someone who likes to take long drives going nowhere, for no reason...
Someone who isn't scared to be themselves...
I've always wanted something exotic.. I suppose everyone does.... Someone who makes my palms sweaty, and makes me stutter, someone, who knows how to make the first move and isn't scared to do it....
Someone who is over that bitter Jaded 20-something thing...
Someone who can look into my eyes and just know...
That's not too much to ask is it?

Another person who likes taking long drives going nowhere, for no reason. I would much rather somebody tell me that they are spontaneous. Although it is direct, it is not confusing. Her last statement is really endearing and amusing. It lightens the end of her profile and does not impose all of her wishes onto those people who are interested in contacting her. Of course, she does not use lines which involve the second person. There is no pickup line or attempt at "personal" contact.

PICTURE: Now, I can deal with piercings that are located on the ears, maybe even the nose, belly button, but I am not a fan of the stud that sticks out of her upper lip if you wanna call it that.

Overall, she doesnt seem to be to serious about the whole personal ad thing. She points out those things which make her unique and those things which she is looking for in her partner. It is an interesting and attention grabbing personal ad.

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